


how the light gets in

by myriophyllous



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Blind Character, Canon Trans Character, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, POV Alternating, Smut, as always a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24234967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myriophyllous/pseuds/myriophyllous
Summary: Matteo’s getting through his final year of school just fine, thank you. He’s got a giant stack of braille textbooks, a group of friends who love him, he’s mostly admitted (to himself) that he’s gay, and that’s all he really needs, right now.David’s plan for this year was get in, get out with his Abi done - no attachments, no one finding out that he’s trans. The plan had not left any openings for accidentally falling for Matteo. But here he was anyway.
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck)
Comments: 62
Kudos: 233





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This AU is loosely based on a lovely queer film from Brazil called Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho (English title is The Way He Looks) but you don’t need to have seen it to read! But it’s cute as hell so I can certainly recommend watching it :)

Matteo was sprawled out at the edge of the lake, water lapping at his toes. The sun was warm on his face as he dragged his hand through the wet sand of the shoreline, feeling the slip and slide of the course grains between his fingertips. In the distance, he could hear the shrieks of his friends in the water, who seemed to be battling one another for a spot on the worn, wooden platform that floated in the center of the lake. 

After a few more minutes of shouting, he heard Jonas loudly declaring victory. Matteo assumed this meant he was standing solo on the platform, having pushed the others back into the cold lake water. Hanna, sitting next to him, gave a quiet snort as her fingers softly turned the page of the book she was reading. 

“Is he standing alone on the platform again?” Matteo asked.

“Do you even need me to tell you?” Hanna replied, and Matteo could hear equal notes of exasperation and fondness in her voice. Matteo laughed and pushed his way up to sit next to her, wiping the wet sand from the side of his face. 

“Matteo!” Hanna snapped as he righted himself, “Where’s your sunscreen? Your face is practically the color of my swimsuit! ”

“Oh? And what color is that?” Matteo asked cheekily, turning his face towards the sound of her voice. 

“Haha, very funny,” Hanna said, her voice once again tinted with that signature tone of equally balanced annoyance and love. “Hold out your hand.” 

He sighed dramatically and held out his hand, waiting as Hanna rustled around in her bag. He heard the click of the plastic cap opening, and felt the cold ooze of the sunscreen as she squirted it into his palm. Ugh. He turned his body more towards where Hanna sat, and plastered a huge smile on his face that he hoped looked as forced as possible. She laughed at him and gently pushed his shoulder as he rubbed it into his face and over his chest. “I know you hate the sunscreen Matteo, but you will thank me tomorrow when you don’t start the first day of classes looking like a tomato.” 

Matteo was just about to respond with a half hearted comeback when he felt a shower of water droplets hit him from above.

“Luigi!” Jonas shouted. “She got you with the sunscreen again, I see? Bro, you got most of your face ok but you’ve got a huge section of it here, wait-”

Matteo could feel Jonas keeling down next to him, and a shock ran through him as Jonas’ cold, wet hand came to rest on the center of his chest, softly smearing the section of sunscreen he had clearly missed. A year ago, he would have been floored by this - Jonas’s hand on his chest, the soft scrape of his calloused palm against Matteo’s skin - but that crush was mostly in the past at this point. He knew that Jonas loved Hanna and that was not going to change. It had taken two years of hopeless pining to get that through his head.

So, instead of a soft gasp, he let out a playfully fierce roar, and grabbed a fistful of wet sand, hoping he was angling his arm correctly to hit Jonas right on the -

“Luigi!! Not the hair!!” Jonas cried out as Matteo’s hand connected with his head. He retaliated quickly, shoving Matteo backwards, coating his sunscreen-sticky chest with sand. They wrestled for a few seconds, and Matteo could hear Abdi and Carlos in the distance egging them on - until they were interrupted by a shout of “Gentlemen!

Amira’s commanding voice carried across the shoreline, and Jonas pulled Matteo up with a laugh. Matteo could hear Sam’s loud laughter coming closer as well.

“Sam’s done at the snack bar for the day!” Amira called out. “Do we want to go get an early dinner?”

Matteo laughed to himself - of course Amria would want them to get home early to be well-rested for tomorrow. He called back with only a hint of sarcasm, “Of course, last first day of school tomorrow, gotta get home to start your Abi studying!” 

“Bold choice of words, Matteo.” 

Amria laughed as she approached him, giving him a gentle shove on the shoulder. “Let’s see how much you’re laughing when I’m saving you from certain failure in Bio.” Her voice was warm despite the threat, and Matteo shoved her back slightly, his sandy fingers catching on the fabric of her sleeve. 

“Let’s go!” Sam called out, and Matteo could hear the sounds of their approaching departure: the boys coming in from the water, Mia and Hanna packing up their bags, and Kiki shrieking as Carlos, likely still dripping with water, attacked her with tickles.

Hanna took Matteo’s hand and lifted up his arm. “Oh no, there is _no_ way you are getting in the car like this, you are covered in sand. Take my arm - we are having one final summer dip together.”

Matteo grabbed her arm, like they had done a million times before. She led them down the beach into the water, carefully directing him as the cold water surrounded them on all sides. Matteo loved the feeling of the wet sand, impossibly soft under his feet, and he held Hanna’s hand as he dunked himself under the water. He took one last second to soak it all in - the hot sun on his face, the cold bite of the lake water, Hanna’s soft hand in his. 

“Come on, Matteo - time to go home,” Hanna said, gently tugging him back up. Matteo turned towards her and smiled, a genuine one this time, and they walked together towards the shore. 

…

Sometimes, when people, _rude_ people, find out that Matteo wasn’t born blind, they ask him the same question: “What do you miss seeing the most?” 

A few years ago, when he lost the last bits of shadowy vision he had left, he would have screamed at them, or hurled something across the room, or just retreated from the world and cursed everything. Curse the genetic fluke that left him with a disease that slowly stole his sight, the father who couldn't even be bothered to stick around as his son went blind, the mother who tried to take care of him but who could sometimes not even take care of herself. 

He felt so alone, literally _alone in the dark_ like a fucking sad cliche. 

Now? After years of pulling himself out of that hole, after years with his therapist and doctors, learning Braille and mastering screen readers, leaning hard on his friends and finding a path to some sort of tentative peace with himself? 

If he had to answer honestly, _really_ honestly, he would just laugh. How can you miss something you’ve never seen? How can you miss the face of a person you’ve never met, a person you hope is out there looking for you, a boy who will love you despite your flaws, despite that fact that you will never _see_ him? 

…

Last period, last first day of school. 

Matteo’s cheeks were still stinging from sunburn as he sat in German, trying to concentrate on taking notes, the rhythmic click clack of his braille typewriter the only sound besides the teacher droning on. 

Hans had fussed over him when he got back to the flat the night before, while Mia was helping him unpack his things from the lake. His face had been thoroughly slicked up with aloe, but he was pretty sure his skin was still bright red. He was also sure that Hanna, who was sitting next to him, was silently laughing to herself at his predicament. He placed his hand on his cheek, just to cool it down for a second, when he heard the click of the latch on the classroom door. 

The door creaked open, and he could sense everyone in the room shifting. 

“Hello? I’m not sure I’m in the right room…” 

The voice of the boy standing in the doorway was quiet, but it was like music to Matteo’s ears. Low, soft, a hint of hesitation. The sort of voice Matteo would search for late at night to listen to as he fell asleep, audiobooks and podcasts filling his head so the creeping anxieties of the day did not chase him into the night. 

“Yes!” the teacher called out. “David, right? The office said you would be coming in late. Hm, why don’t you take the free seat there, behind Matteo?”

“Ok, thanks,” David said, his voice still so soft. Matteo could hear the muffled swish of his pants as he walked closer, and as David passed next to him, Matteo caught a whiff of some sort of cologne - smokey and warm, like a campfire on a cool autumn evening. Matteo heard a whisper from the other side of the classroom - Leonie, probably, talking to her best friend Sara: “Who is this - he must be new? He’s so cute!” 

David settled into the seat behind him. Matteo focused in on the quiet sounds of David unpacking his bag, the slow drag of his pen across the paper as he started taking notes. 

Matteo did not start typing again for a few minutes, just listening to the in and out of David’s breathing. 

At the end of class, Matteo could hear David quickly shoving his items in his backpack and walking away, his scent lingering in the air. Matteo shook his head, trying to clear away his cloudy thoughts, and then forced himself to get up. His face was still burning, but if he was being honest, it had almost nothing to do with sunburn anymore. 

The rest of the week passed by in a blur. Every day in German class, Matteo focused on catching a few words of David’s voice before everyone settled down for class, just snippets of small talk as Leonie and Sara tried to learn more about him. Not that they were getting far. Matteo could sense David’s hesitation to share in the tone of his voice, in his somewhat evasive answers, in the almost imperceptible sigh of relief he let out when the teacher finally called the classroom to order and the girls walked away. Matteo had never felt like this before - something about David’s voice, the way he smelled, the physical presence of his body as he settled into his seat - was intoxicating. 

On Thursday, halfway through class, David tapped on Matteo’s shoulder. Matteo felt it like a punch to the gut, but he stopped typing and took a quick breath to compose himself.

“Do you have an eraser?” David asked softly. 

Matteo’s breath caught in his throat, but then he laughed just a bit, scrunching up his face. “Umm...I don’t use erasers?”

“Oh - right!” Matteo could hear the note of embarrassment in David’s voice, and he quickly added, “Sorry!”

“It’s ok,” Matteo said quickly. “Wait-”

Matteo poked Hanna, who sat next to him in the double desk, and she quickly pressed her eraser into his hand. He grabbed it and held his hand back. David’s fingers were soft and quick as they brushed against his, deftly taking the eraser. Matteo tried to suppress another shudder and keep his face neutral. 

“Thanks!” David whispered back, and Matteo wondered if he was smiling. 

As class wrapped up that day, Matteo lingered as Hanna finished up her assignment. David lingered as well; Matteo could hear his pencil dragging along in soft strokes. Hanna tapped him on the shoulder when she was done, and he grabbed her arm as they walked out of the classroom. 

Hanna walked towards the doorway, but then stopped for a second and turned them back around.

“Hey, David?” she asked. “Do you walk home down the main road? Or do you take the bus?” 

Matteo was confused for a second, what was she doing? But then he thought about how lonely Hanna had been last year, after her falling out with all her friends, and how she must see a bit of herself in being the new kid, in David’s quiet hesitation to open up. 

David was quiet for a second, like maybe he was mulling over his response. “I normally take the bus. But it’s so nice out today - why?”

Matteo could hear the smile in her voice when Hanna replied. “Want to walk home with us?”

...

Matteo isn’t sure when, exactly, the walks home from his friends started, in the grand scheme of things. 

Before his father moved out, his mother would come for him every day after school. She would call out his name and they would head home together - or they would take a longer adventure - walking through the park, stopping for ice cream, taking the bus on a surprise trip. After she stopped coming for him, and stopped leaving the house at all, Jonas would walk with him every day, instead. More often than not, they would head right to Jonas’ house and avoid Matteo’s. Back then, right after he had lost the last remaining vision he had, the prospect of walking home alone had been terrifying. 

Things had been harder, in many ways, since moving to the flatshare, but in a lot of ways they were simpler. He learned to navigate the flat, and Hans and Linn were more than happy to help him when he needed it. His mom was doing better, his father sent money for his rent and food, and his friends walked him home from school every day. While he could now easily manage the walk home on his own with his cane, he had gotten used to the routine and the company. 

Monday was Mia’s day, and had been since he moved into the flatshare last year. They mostly walked together in quiet contemplation, or shared bits and pieces of gossip about whatever Hans had gotten up to over the weekend, or what kitchen experiments Linn was planning for the week ahead. 

Tuesday was Amira’s day - she would allow him to talk about any topic as they walked home, but as soon as they got upstairs for their study session it was strictly talk of genetics and cells and mitosis as they studied for Bio.

Wednesday was best friend day with Jonas - they would take the long way home, stop at the river and throw breadcrumbs to the ducks, sit in the park and smoke a joint, just catching up on the good things and the shitty things. Every other Wednesday they skipped the joint, and instead Jonas walked him to his therapist’s office, gently chastising him on days he tried to make excuses to skip out.

Thursday was Hanna’s day. When he was feeling sad she would hold his hand, and they would focus on the good things happening now, rather than the somewhat uncertain future after this last year of school. Sometimes, on a better day, one or two of the girls would join them - Kiki and Sam, if Hanna was shopping after she dropped him off - Mia if Hanna was coming over for dinner at the flatshare. 

Friday was his day with the boys - Jonas by his left side, Abdi and Carlos bouncing around with all the restless energy of a weekend ahead of them. Often they were not even walking him home - they headed to Jonas’ to smoke and eat snacks, they headed to the park to play ping-pong (with Matteo as verbal scorekeeper and official resolver of disputes), they headed to parties at basements and flatshares and backyards. Matteo often stayed on the sidelines there, as well, feeling a bit uncomfortable in the crowd, but sometimes it was enough just to be surrounded by his friends and know they were there for him. 

....

David joined them on their walk that day, laughing along with Hanna about their classmates, about a bird pecking at a sandwich on the sidewalk next to them, about the ridiculous outfit their teacher had on the day, describing it to Matteo in full, vivid detail. He walked next to Matteo, just far enough away that their bodies did not touch, but still, Matteo felt like every inch of his left side was attuned to David’s presence. After weeks of nothing but quiet classroom conversation, Matteo got to hear David’s laugh for the first time. It burst out of him so suddenly, musical and warm, and Matteo wanted to bathe in the sound of it, wanted to coax it out of him a million times over. 

After that first walk, it became somewhat of a Thursday habit - David joining them on their walks and saying goodbye at Matteo’s door. 

Soon, it became somewhat of a Tuesday habit as well. Amria and David hit it off instantly after she joined them on a Thursday walk one day, and they traded off opinions about schoolwork and religion as they walked. It even happened on the occasional Friday - David had joined some club that Jonas was active in, and they would talk rapid fire about politics while Matteo tried to distract himself with Abdi and Carlos’ antics. But no matter where they were headed, no matter Jonas’ repeated insistence that he join them, David would always excuse himself from the activity and head home alone. 

Matteo had a file by now, right in the center of his mental desktop - THINGS ABOUT DAVID. The boys lightly teased David one afternoon for always wearing black - noted. Hanna asked him what he’s always drawing in class, and David laughed but didn’t really answer her - noted. Amria asked about his family, and David mentioned he lived with his older sister - noted. David mentioned his Advanced PE class - he’s got to be strong, flexible, fast - noted. 

Matteo had never experienced such a deep and persistent current of desire. When he touched himself at night, he focused on the low, steady tone of David’s voice in his memory, and how it might crack as he broke apart, a soft moan or a low whine. He woke up in the morning stiff from dreams of David’s hands skimming over his skin, winding around his waist, fingers warm and deft. He’d replay his dreams over and over in the shower, water streaming down his body, back pressed against the cool tile wall. 

Even after weeks of gathering intel, Matteo still felt like he knew so little. David was so spare with details, so guarded about anything from before he came to their school. Matteo was constantly on alert, soaking up every little piece of David that he could. But every time he thought he might be getting somewhere, he was in front of his flat and David was saying goodbye. 

After a few weeks of amassing this mental catalogue, on a quiet Wednesday walk home with Jonas, Matteo gathered his courage. 

“Jonas? What does David look like?” 

Jonas stopped their walk, and shoved Matteo a little in the shoulder. “Why so curious, Luigi?” he asked, a hint of teasing in his voice.

“I just! I mean…” Matteo _knew_ he was blushing, he could feel the blood rising in his cheeks, but he tried to push it down. “I mean, I knew most of you guys, you know….before. And we are sort of friends with him now, right? So, I want to know, but it feels wrong to just go up and ask him, and I don’t want to -” 

Jonas interrupted him, laughing again. “No, no, I get you bro, it makes sense. Umm… he looks pretty good, to be honest? I hear that Leonie is all over him in class, so since we dated before, he’s clearly as good looking as me!” 

Matteo punched him in the shoulder. 

“Ok, ok. Uh….he’s got this curly black hair? It’s cool, man, it’s like curly and wavy all at once, I need to ask him whatever product he’s using in it. Olive skin, brown eyes....Hanna has commented to me more than once that his eyelashes are crazy long? Oh, yeah, and he’s got a septum piercing in his nose, you know what I mean? Right in the middle? Very badass.” 

Matteo’s thoughts were racing, and his fingers twitched slightly at Jonas’ words - now all he could imagine was running his fingers through soft, curly hair, the press of a nose piercing against his cheek as they - 

He shook his head a little to clear his mind, and turned towards Jonas, tapping his fingers to his head. “Got it saved to images, man, thanks.” Jonas laughed along with him, and they kept walking home.

Later that night, when Matteo was alone, he ran through the file in his mind over and over - David’s laugh, the careful way he thinks before he talks, the warm, autumn smell of his cologne, how soft his hands had been the one time they touched. 

...

“Hanna?” 

“Yes, Matteo?” 

Matteo rested with his head in Hanna’s lap outside on the steps of the school, waiting for Jonas to finish a meeting of…debate team? Students for climate action? Whichever of Jonas’s many causes took place on Thursday afternoons. 

He took a deep breath, trying to seem like this was just a light question, not one that had been somewhat privately nagging at him the past few weeks.. “Am I…attractive?” 

Hanna snorted, and stopped the motion of her hands, which had been running soft passes through Matteo’s hair. “What? Like, to me? I think you know I’m taken -”

“No!” Matteo interrupted. “Like....just to other people. Like in general.”

“Oh?” Hanna asked, her voice suddenly turning sly. “Other people? Any people in particular?” She poked at his side, teasing and tickling at him.

“Stop! Stooooop!” he begged, twisting around in her lap. “I mean it. Just, objectively? I know you know the answer.” His voice trailed off, fingers twisting nervously around the straps of his backpack. Softly, he added, “The last time I saw my face properly I was only like eight, Hanna...I know my hair is blonde, I know my skin is pale, I know how my...but, but...that’s not what I mean and you know it.” 

Hanna trailed her fingers down his cheek, just for a second, and then she tugged at his shoulders, pulling him up to a seat, gently turning his face to the sound of her voice. She gripped his face firmly between her hands, and squeezed it. “You, Matteo Florenzi, are extremely cute, and I know that anyone you might like is going to agree with that sentiment. And if you don’t believe me, ask Sara, she literally cannot keep her eyes off you this year.” Hanna laughed at that, while Matteo groaned and pulled his face out of her grasp.

“Ugh, fine. _Cute._ ” He huffed, pushing away from her. “I believe you.”

“Any hints, then, as to who you like? Have you noticed Sara’s flirting?” Hanna teased.

Matteo groaned again and fell forward into Hanna’s lap. “Ugh, no, it’s not her, her perfume reminds me of my grandmother, it’s so flowery and overpowering.” 

Hanna laughed. “Ok fine, keep your secrets....for now.”

“Hanna? Are you ready?” Matteo heard Jonas calling out, “Ready to be...swept off your feet?” 

“Yes!” Hanna said. “That’s why we waited so long here for you today!”

Jonas sounded flustered. “Yes, yes, I’m sorry, the meeting ran long today - and we’ve got to go now, if we want to have time to eat beforehand.” 

“Damn! Right, right.” She gently pushed Matteo off of her, and he grabbed for his things and stood up. “Oh no, wait!” she exclaimed, “Matteo, walking you home - if we have to leave now for the concert there’s no time…”

Matteo sighed, throwing his hands up. “Guys, I’m _fine_ to walk home without you! Go!” He did his best to sound assurring. He loved catching up with his friends on their afternoon walks home, but sometimes he worried they thought he couldn't make it home without their help, which was more than a little insulting. ”I have my cane in my bag, I’m fine!”

“I can walk you home, Matteo.”

Matteo turned to the sound of David’s voice, the sound of his careful steps walking towards them. 

“Perfect!” Jonas shouted, grabbing Matteo’s hand and placing it on David’s arm. “Luigi, we are running, I trust that David will deliver you safely. David, take care of our little Luigi here,” Jonas said, pinching Matteo’s cheek. 

“Danke, Mama!” Matteo said, flipping him off. 

As Jonas walked away, Matteo became instantly aware that he was suddenly alone with David for the first time ever, that the smooth skin of the wrist he was holding belonged to _David,_ and he did his best to keep his breathing normal and voice measured while his brain short circuited. 

David took Matteo’s hand and gently hooked their arms together. “Shall we?” 

Despite Matteo’s initial terror at the prospect of solo time with David, he was shocked how _easy_ it felt to be alone with him. They took the long way home through the park, swapping stories about their day, complaints about their latest German assignment, and a hilarious retelling by David of Abdi’s attempt to climb a rope ladder in PE class. David’s descriptions of every last thing were so vivid, full of exacting detail, and Matteo hung on every word. 

As they walked, Matteo’s thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of the crosswalk. _Fuck. They were almost home._ Today he did _not_ want David to just drop him off and say goodbye. So, fuck it.

“Umm…David?” he asked softly, interrupting David’s story. “Do you want to come up and eat with me? I make a mean cheese toastie, if I do say so.” He smiled at the thought of David in his kitchen, David laughing as they cooked together, David winding his arms around Matteo’s waist as he made them a snack, warm and domestic. 

“Oh…” David paused for a second. “Well, I’m hungry for sure - but I was just going to grab a kebab quickly? - There’s a film showing I wanted to go to in about an hour....it’s actually perfect that I walked you home, it's right down the way here - actually, would you maybe want to come with me? It’s one of my favorite films.”

Matteo was not sure whether to laugh or cry that the first time he’s asked out by a boy he likes, it’s to _see a movie_. He didn’t have the heart to reply, so he just turned towards David, shrugging with what he hoped was a bemused expression on his face.

“Oh, damn.” David laughed, and he took Matteo’s hand and smacked it onto his own face, literally facepalming. “So I'm a idiot, yeah. Sorry.” 

Matteo paused for a second. Technically, there was nothing _actually_ stopping him, and he was _not_ going to blow this already. “I guess, why not though? I want to - I don't even know the last time I went to the theater. I want to.”

David was quiet for a second. “Ok, let’s go.”

They grabbed kebabs and ate them on a bench, juice running down Matteo’s fingers as David tried to help him wipe it up with sticky fingers of his own. They walked to the theater, the night air getting chilly around them, and Matteo let himself get lost in a world where this was a date, where he’s here with a boy who likes him, a boy who wants to see a movie with him despite his obvious flaws. And it’s _perfect._

David told him not to worry, that he had seen this movie a dozen times. Told him it was called _Only Lovers Left Alive,_ and it was about vampires _._ The film started, the music swelled, and David spent the entire film whispering every scene to Matteo, describing every detail - the vivid costumes, the abandoned buildings, the look of pain and longing in Adam and Eve’s eyes. Matteo could barely concentrate on anything with David so close to him, with his voice low and soothing in Matteo’s ear, but he did his best to keep up. He could sense that this film was important to David in a way he couldn't exactly place. But his love for this film, for the craft of filmmaking in general, became more evident with every word.

David walked him home after the movie, grilling Matteo on what he thought and expounding further on his favorite parts of the film. 

“Do you want to do this after school ends?” Matteo asked. “Make movies, I mean? I’ve never met someone so interested like you are.”

David laughed a bit self-consciously. “Yeah - I mean, sometimes I'm still unsure of what I want to do. But it’s always been my dream to make films.”

“That’s amazing.” Matteo replied. “It's funny, that I'm asking you this, because I used to _hate_ that question - like sure, ask the kid who just went blind what the hell he’s doing if he manages to graduate? But a few months ago my, um...my therapist found a training program in Berlin where they teach coding and computer programming to the blind? So, I think we’re working on that, for me...maybe someday I could even make accessible games.” Matteo smiled to himself - this new somewhat positive feeling about his future, about doing a job he might actually be good at, was still pretty unfamiliar. 

“That’s great,” David interjected.

“I mean, I hope so. Nothing near as cool as making films, for sure.” Matteo swallowed and turned away from David’s voice a bit. “I’m sad I'll never get to see your films, though, I bet they would be great.” 

Matteo could suddenly feel warm fingers gently brushing his jaw, turning his head back up towards David. They lingered for just a split second before falling away, and David said, “Don’t worry - I’ll make sure to be there to tell you everything.” 

Matteo smiled, and he could feel the blush rising up on his cheeks - he just hoped David would mistake it for a reaction to the cold wind that whirled around them. 

“Sounds like a deal,” Matteo replied. He started walking again, shaking off the feeling of David’s hands on his jaw. “It would be so amazing - to have a dream and then actually do it, I think. Like you, making a film that millions of people can see. I spent so long just figuring out...figuring out how to just _exist_ again, you know? That I wasn't worried about actually _living_ . So that’s the next step - just learning how to be a part of things again. To let myself _want_ things. I don’t...I don’t really know if that makes sense, I-”

Something about talking to David calmed him, made him feel like he could slit himself open and spill out everything - and David would understand, and be there to sew him up again. 

“No - it does.” David interrupted, “I know exactly what you mean.” 

Matteo felt like there was something David was leaving out, and he was greedy, he was so greedy for every little thing he could learn about this boy, but the last thing he wanted was to scare him away by prying too deep.

“Oh - Hey, Matteo, we’re back at your place.” Matteo heard David reach into the small back pocket of Matteo’s bag for his flat keys, and the audible click as the door popped open. “You got it from here?” David asked. “I would walk you up, but it’s getting late and my sister is expecting me back.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Matteo replied softly. As much as he wanted David to follow him upstairs to his apartment, to follow him into his bedroom, to _finally_ touch David’s face, his body - he couldn’t be so greedy, he couldn’t be so foolish as to think this was anything more than a night of fun with a friend. He smiled, and hoped that David could see on his face how much tonight meant to him, how sorry he was to let David go. “It was nice, tonight, with you - thanks.”

David quickly grabbed his shoulder, and his hand lingered for a second - it seemed to Matteo like he might feel unsure, hesitant. Finally, he ran his hand slowly down Matteo’s arm, fingers dragging on the fabric of Matteo’s quilted jacket. He squeezed Matteo’s hand and handed him the keys. “Anytime, Matteo - really. Good night.” 

Matteo stood there in the open doorway of the apartment building for what felt like hours, the sound of David’s footsteps moving further and further away.


	2. Chapter 2

David adjusted his fangs as he walked up the stairs, the thump-thump of the music in time with his steps. The fangs clipped into the roof of his mouth and over his teeth with a custom fitting, and he felt like the look was subtle but spooky. 

It was his first time back at Matteo’s apartment since their sort of, maybe, in David’s dreams, date at the movies. Despite how many times he tried to remind himself that it was not actually a date, that he wasn’t supposed to let himself get close enough to anyone like that, that Matteo might not even like guys, it was still all he could think of. Of Matteo, laughing as he licked grease off his fingers. Matteo, hanging on his every word during the movie - somehow even agreeing to go see a movie with David when he foolishly forgot what a dumb request that was - like maybe it was not so much about the movie as it was about  _ David _ . That was a dangerous line of thinking, but his normally strong defenses all crumbled when confronted with Matteo’s soft smile. 

Case in point, this Halloween costume party he found himself attending - parties normally freaked him out, too many bodies close to his, too many chances to get drunk and let some detail slip. But a few days ago Matteo had invited him, asking him, soft and shy as always, and so here he was. 

When he entered the party, David felt a bit overwhelmed, but soon enough he was having fun. He complimented Sam on her colorful braided updo, Jonas handed him a beer, and then Mia and Hanna pulled him into the living room to dance, with Hanna’s mermaid tail thwacking him in the side a few times as they twirled around him. He had another drink or two, dancing with the girls, and after a while he started to wonder where Matteo was. 

Finally, he caught sight of Matteo, slipping out of the bathroom with Abdi and Carlos flanking him. They were all wearing the same tan jumpsuit as Jonas, and Matteo was carrying what looked like a - a gun backpack?

“Are you guys dressed as Ghostbusters?” David laughed, walking over to where the boys were gathered. 

“Yeah man!!” Abdi replied, lifting his glass to clink against David’s. “Stranger Things, if only I had a demogorgon in this trap for real!” 

“Or, you know, like from the actual movie?” David asked as Abdi and Carlos gave him blank looks. “You know, like, Ghostbusters? Classic 80’s film? Nothing?” David laughed as they continued to look at him with vaguely drunken confusion. David liked them a lot, but they were truly hopeless. “Ok, yeah, we all love Stranger Things, you guys look great. “ 

Abdi and Carlos cheered while Matteo collapsed into himself with a fit of giggles. He was clearly high, David could smell the weed wafting from the bathroom, and he looked so fucking adorable with his messy hair and his flushed cheeks that David could scream. Instead, he reached out and poked Matteo in the side gently, sliding over to stand next to him as Abdi and Carlos wandered to the kitchen for another drink. 

“So, did you have any say in this costume choice?” David was still getting used to the intricacies of talking face to face with Matteo. Matteo was so expressive, every tiny emotion flicking across the surface of his face. 

Matteo laughed again. “No, you know - the boys got the idea in their heads and here I am. Besides, it’s way better than last year, I was dressed as an alien and I had these huge antennae on my head all night. I was smacking people left and right and falling all over the place, it was insane, I have no idea who thought that was a good idea.” 

David smiled instantly at the mental image, thinking of Matteo wearing one of those silly alien headbands. Fuck, he was so gone for this boy if that mental image was doing it for him. 

“And?” Matteo asked. “What are you dressed as, Mr. Mysterious?” 

David was about to reply when Hanna brushed past them on her way to the kitchen and interjected. “Oh Matteo, don’t bother with him, he's just in all black like always! David, I must say I expected better.” Then she was off again, tail swishing behind her. 

Matteo smiled up at him, a mischievous grin on his face. David leaned in and whispered in Matteo’s ear. “Actually, I’m dressed as a vampire - but you know, we look just like everyone else.” 

Matteo doubled over again with laughter. “Oh? But what about the fangs? I’m not sure you’d be a decent vampire without those.” 

Matteo had clearly caused David to lose his entire mind. He wasn’t sure if he should blame the alcohol, the way Matteo was smiling, the hazy music overhead making him feel dizzy - but he soon he was grabbing Matteo’s hand and dragging it down the side of his face to his open mouth, running the tips of Matteo’s fingers along his fake fangs. 

Matteo gasped, his mouth dropping open as David whispered “See? I’m very authentic, don’t worry.”

Before David could fully process Matteo’s fingers lingering on his lip in the middle of a crowded room, the music suddenly changed. A group of colorfully dressed people burst into the flat and started parading into the center of the party, to the loud cheers of all in attendance - “Welcome to the House of Hans!” the man in the center yelled. Right - Matteo had mentioned his roommate before, Hans, who everyone at this party was clearly excited to see. 

Matteo’s hand fell away from David’s face, and David could see a wave of discomfort cross Matteo’s face. His hands shot up to his ears, like he was overwhelmed by the spike in volume. David moved closer to Matteo, gently lifting his hand up to whisper in his ear. “Are you ok?” 

Matteo shook his head, and reached down to grab David by the wrist. He turned towards the doorway that they had been leaning next to, and pulled them both inside.

Clearly, this was Matteo’s bedroom. David took it in for a split second - the blank walls, the breeze from the open balcony doors, the rows of little bins with braille tags that looked homemade. 

Matteo slammed the door behind them, muffling the pounding base, and he suddenly dropped David’s hand like he just noticed he was still holding it. “Sorry, sorry,” he stammered out, “Sometimes the music and the cheering and everyone so close...it’s a lot. The pot and the booze helps, but...only so much.” 

Before David could reply, Matteo broke away and collapsed into the couch in the corner, looking overwhelmed and embarrassed. “You don’t have to...I know I’m the worst - I’m ok if you want to go back and have fun, I just need to…” He pulled out his phone and a set of earbuds and sort of waved them in the air. 

There was no way David was going anywhere with Matteo so clearly distraught. To be honest, his head was also buzzing, though that may have been less about the drinks and more about Matteo’s fingers on his lips a second ago. He made his way over to the small couch and tentatively sat down. “Do you mind if I sit with you for a minute? I like parties, but a break would be nice.”

Matteo turned his head towards him - David was suddenly struck when he realized the only way he would describe the emotion on Matteo’s face was  _ relief _ . Matteo moved in closer into David’s space, and his hand looked for David’s, pressing one of the earbuds into his hand.

“Listen with me?” 

The music was strange - instrumentals with a soft, mournful singing voice in a language he could not place. He could see what made it soothing though, why Matteo used it to calm his mind. Matteo snuggled further into the couch, pulling David in as he tried to keep the bud from falling out of his ear. They listened for a few more minutes, sinking closer and closer, David trying to keep his heart from beating out of his chest, trying to keep his breathing steady. 

Matteo looked beautiful like this - hair a mess on the pillow, the line of his neck long and pale. His stupid, oversized jumpsuit was endearingly all bunched up as he curled into the couch. David was drunk and barely keeping himself together - he could feel a low pulse between his legs, his mouth almost watering with the desire to lick up the line of Matteo’s neck and bite his soft, open mouth. 

The song flipped over into a new track, and then another new track, and with each one Matteo shifted closer, so that soon his whole body rested against David’s side. His hand lifted, looking like he was going to reach out to David, and then dropped. David took a deep breath and took a chance. 

“You look really good tonight,” he said, head moving a breath closer to Matteo’s face. 

That same expression from before flashed across Matteo’s face -  _ relief _ . David felt all of the tension drain out of his body as Matteo lifted his hand again, and found David’s face. 

“David?” Matteo whispered, his hand hovering imperceptibly close to David’s cheek. “Can I...I just want to know how you...?” He tilted his head like he hoped David would understand. 

David nodded, like an idiot, but Matteo must have sensed it anyway, because he slid forward and placed both his hands on the side of David’s face. David moved in closer, tangling their knees, leaning in towards Matteo’s face as Matteo traced his own - Matteo’s soft, nimble fingers on the shell of his ear, skimming the edges of his hair, running along the stubble on his chin. David let out an almost imperceptible whine - he had never wanted to kiss someone so badly in his life, and Matteo was shifting closer and closer like he wanted nothing more than to be kissed. Matteo’s hands brushed the hair at the nape of his neck as their noses brushed together, and -

The door to Matteo’s room burst open with a thwack, slamming the door against the wall and knocking a bunch of large braille books off Matteo’s shelves. They jumped apart instantly, knocking the buds out of their ears. 

“LUIGI!!!” Jonas called out, walking towards them with Carlos and Abdi on either side of him. They seemed oblivious to what they had just interrupted. “I wanted to say goodnight! Pretty much everyone has left, since we’ve got the class trip tomorrow morning, I can pick you up at eight?” 

Jonas turned towards David. “Bro, want to head out with the three of us? Early day tomorrow!” 

David sat there, trying to force his mouth to say something in reply while his brain was running in frantic loops. “Sure, sure,” he finally breathed out, standing up.  _ Fuck _ . 

“Earth to Luigi?” Jonas asked again, gently nudging Matteo. “You good if we head out? See you at eight tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. Eight.” Matteo looked dazed and confused, and David simultaneously wanted to bend down and kiss him senseless and run away from him as fast as possible. Jonas made the choice for him. 

“Come on boys, let’s go. Goodnight, little one!” 

Matteo smiled just a bit and gave Jonas the finger as they headed out of his room. David followed the boys out of the flat, barely paying attention to their conversation, just trying to concentrate on breathing as they walked together into the cold night.

...

David’s head was pounding for more than one reason the next morning as he walked up to the line of buses in front of the school.  _ Ugh. _

He was hungover for sure, but more than that, he was swimming in regret over leaving Matteo. They were about to kiss, the one thing he’d been dreaming of since that first day in German class when he sat behind a boy with the softest sky blue eyes he’d ever seen. 

He  _ knew  _ deep down he should be thanking Jonas for interrupting them before it was too late. The plan for this year was get in, get out with his Abi done - no attachments, no one finding out that he’s trans. The plan had  _ not _ left any openings for accidentally falling for Matteo. But there he was anyway. 

His mind had been running on overdrive since the night before - how fucked up he felt about Matteo, how especially fucked up he was now that he was pretty sure Matteo felt the same way. But did he  _ really _ ? David could almost laugh. He would bet if Matteo could  _ see _ him, could see the body David was working so hard to make his own, he’d run in the other direction. 

David sighed, trying to push down the wave of self-deprecation and dysphoria that he’d been hit with since leaving the party last night. It was worse than normal, and he had actually been feeling so much better since leaving his old school. He felt so lucky that Laura had agreed that switching schools before he started his last year had been the right call - he had a pretty good idea what would have happened if he had gone back to his old school. He had even allowed himself to make a few new friends here, and Matteo’s friends had welcomed him so warmly that it scared him. It terrified him that if they knew, if Matteo knew, then he wouldn’t - 

“All aboard!!” shouted the head teacher, pulling David out of his spiralling thoughts.

He caught sight of Hanna and Mia, and they waved him over. As they walked onto the bus, he could see Matteo sitting on the large back bench of the bus with the boys, all of them slumped over and basically sleeping in a pile. Matteo’s eyes were closed, and his face was soft with sleep, purple bruised bags under his eyes. Had he stayed up all night like David, head too full to sleep? David was hit with another wave, this time of guilt - he wanted to wrap Matteo in his arms and let him sleep all day. But Sam and Amria waved him over to their section of the bus, and he pasted on a tight smile and joined them. 

…

David was still not sure what the exact academic point of this weekend trip was. Ostensibly, the students taking Bio or Chem Abi’s were doing experiments? And the rest of them were...along for the ride? But apparently, it was a big annual tradition. 

Regardless, the morning and early afternoon were pretty nice. He spent the morning drifting from one small group of friends to another, vacillating between trying to avoid Matteo and desperately wanting to be alone with him. He sketched a little by the lakeside, he helped Amria take lakewater samples, he laughed with Sam as Abdi tried to impress her by climbing a tree. 

They all ate lunch together, and helped each other set up their tents. David was thankful Laura had an old single-person tent he had borrowed so he could sleep alone. David sent up his tent fairly easily, but kept getting distracted by stealing glances over at Matteo - who was sitting on the grass and laughing as he yelled nonsense orders at his friends setting up their tent. “A little higher, Carlos! Abdi, don’t hold the top at that angle!” 

David was feeling ok, despite the jumble of conflicting thoughts in his head - until the head teacher announced that the rest of the day was intended for fun at the camp’s indoor pool complex - free time for swimming, hot tub, even a waterslide - “I hope you all remembered your swimsuits!” 

Fuck,  _ fuck.  _ Clearly David had somehow missed this section of the trip handout. They had likely handed it out in German class, where his every waking thought was preoccupied with the pale skin of Matteo’s back, and how he could occasionally catch a glimpse of it when Matteo’s shirt rode up just a little. He was such an idiot. 

As everyone headed into their tents to change, he sat on the edge of the lake, trying to think of any legitimate reason to avoid swimming. Wait...He grabbed his backpack and dug through it like a madman, searching until he found what he was looking for tucked in a little used side pocket. He thanked his lucky stars for his godmother’s somewhat eccentric habit of birdwatching. She had gifted David with a set of travel binoculars and a birdwatching guide a few years ago, and David had promptly thrown them into this outdoor backpack and never used them again. 

He gripped the binoculars tightly, and walked up to the head teacher, desperately hoping this half assed plan would work. 

“Hi, hello? I was just  _ desperately  _ hoping to get some bird watching time in, and we only have a few hours until sunset? And oh, packing my swim things might have slipped my mind, and before by the lake I could swear that I saw -” he opened up the book to a random page, emphatically pointing at the bird depicted on it, “ - a Lapland Longspur, which would just be so rare for this area, I’d love to get a confirmed sighting and a sketch!” He now gestured to his sketchbook and flashed a huge smile. He desperately hoped this was just coming off as a boy who was way too into birds. 

The teacher looked somewhat thrown, but also like he was too tired to argue. “Sure, sure, sounds good, be back for dinner at six at the main dining cabin…” The teacher trailed off, but then looked excited like something had just dawned on him. “Actually - wait, this is perfect? Come with me.” He slapped David on the back and steered him over towards... _ god damn it _ , of course. 

“Matteo?” the teacher asked, tapping Matteo on the shoulder. Matteo turned around, face soft with confusion. “I found a perfect solution!” their teacher chirped. “Matteo, I was worried about you using the pool and David here wanted to spend the time taking a nature walk, how about you two go together? David, you can take Matteo with you, ok?”

David could sense what Matteo was feeling - how patronizing their teacher was being by worrying about Matteo using the pool, like he was a small child. But Matteo shrugged, “Sure, that sounds good - I forgot my swim stuff, anyway.” 

“Great! You two have fun! There is a trail that leads all the way around the lake, you can’t miss it - be back for dinner at six!” The teacher grabbed Matteo’s hand, placed it on David’s arm, and scurried away. 

“I’m sorry.” David said to Matteo. “I don’t know why he would assume you can’t use the pool just because you’re blind? How stupid. Do you want to go talk to the other head teacher?”

Matteo smiled at him. “No, it’s ok - I wasn’t lying about forgetting my swim stuff, actually. A walk with you sounds ok, if you don’t mind?” David could tell that Matteo was nervous, and he felt the same way - alone together, after last night - the prospect was terrifying. 

“Sure, sure.” 

Matteo put his hand around David’s elbow, and they started to walk down the path by the lake. Matteo was quiet as their walk started. David, trying to fill the silence, started aimlessing describing the scene around them. The path was beautiful in the late afternoon - woods thick around the edges, a few canoes dotting the mirrored surface of the lake. David actually made a bit of an effort to look for birds, and he sat down to sketch a particularly beautiful crane who was slowly walking along the edge of the lake. Matteo sat next to him on a crumbling log by the edge of the water, running his fingers along the bark, running his hands through the soft grass near his feet. 

When they stood up again, Matteo’s hair was full of leaves fallen from an overhanging tree. Without thinking, David ran his fingers through Matteo’s hair, brushing out the small yellow leaves tangled in his messy fringe. Matteo smiled up at him, his face flushed red, and David pulled his hand away, embarrassed. 

And somehow, despite how complicated David felt about Matteo, the tension broke _. _ Matteo teased David about his birdwatching book, and David told him funny stories about camping with his godmother when they were younger. They made it halfway around the lake, just talking. He could almost forget how awkward he was feeling about everything as they slipped back into their typical banter. Matteo’s shoelaces kept coming untied, and as he tied them back up David teased Matteo about his red tartan hiking boots, which clashed amazingly with his brightly patterned jacket. 

“Screw you, Mr.Schreibner! They were the most comfortable boots in the store, and don’t question my superior style - I’m told it’s generally described as  _ ‘power clashing _ ’ by very knowledgeable fashion personalities.” 

“Oh? Is Vogue doing a braille edition these days?” David tossed back, grateful that they could still tease each other despite everything going on.

“Ok, ok - it was just my flatmate Hans, but still -” Matteo stuttered a bit and blushed, tilting his head down. “Lately, I’ve been making him help me plan out my outfits, ok?”

“Oh?” David asked, unsure of what Matteo was implying.

“Yeah, you know.” Matteo stopped walking, and turned to face him. “I’ve just wanted to look better, lately.” Matteo flashed him a wicked smile - David was always blindsided by how Matteo could turn on a dime from blushing and bashful to this forward, confident person. He was breathtaking. 

“Yeah, you know? There’s this guy, that I like? He’s a little bit mysterious, I’m told he always wears black, and he likes very artistic movies - so I’ve been wanting to impress him.”

David could not fight the smile that broke across his face, and he found himself drawing closer to Matteo, running his palm down Matteo’s arm to join their hands. 

“Oh, really? He sounds a bit pretentious to me.” David said, moving in closer to Matteo, all reservations tossed out the window. This boy could tear down the walls David had spent months constructing with one look, but in this moment David found that he didn’t care at all about letting him in. They were utterly alone on the path in the woods, the birds silent, the breeze from the lake ruffling the fringe over Matteo’s face. 

“Oh, for sure,” Matteo added. “But I still like him, so much. And I think he might feel the same.” Matteo hung back slightly, their faces inches away from each other. “Do you think you could help me find out?” he asked, smiling at David.

A sudden gust of wind blew down the path, winding through the trees and sending leaves falling around them softly. The chirping birds on the path quieted for just a moment. David had imagined his own first kiss a thousand times with every film he watched, but he had never imagined it this perfectly - a soft boy in terrible clothes standing in front of him with leaves in his hair, waiting desperately for David to kiss him. 

David gently grabbed Matteo’s face and kissed him hard, licking into his mouth. Matteo exhaled sharply, pulling back for a split second, before coming back towards David to kiss him harder. David’s hands stroked down Matteo’s back and side, bringing their bodies closer, and Matteo twined his fingers into David’s hair, stroking and pulling as they kissed. After a minute they broke apart, gasping slightly for air. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for weeks,” Matteo whispered in David’s ear. David felt like he had been dipped in molten lava, heat spreading from his fingers to his toes, his skin buzzing wherever it touched Matteo’s. David could feel the warmth everywhere, pouring down over his shoulders and chest, pulsing between his thighs. 

“Me too,” he whispered back. He had spent weeks trying to keep himself away, with an increasingly high rate of failure. So, he did what felt right in the moment - he gently pushed Matteo toward a large tree at the edge of the path, pressing Matteo back against the trunk, and he kissed him again, and again, and again. 

After what seemed like hours, but might have been minutes, David’s mobile started buzzing in his pocket. At this point they were sitting in the grass by the base of the tree, gently trading kisses. David reluctantly pulled away from Matteo, and realized with a shock that it was past six, and they were still only halfway around the lake with the sun rapidly setting. 

“Matteo, we have to head back - it’s getting late and this path has no lighting.”

Matteo groaned, but he stood up and pulled David up with him. “What, afraid of the dark, are you? Pretty shitty trait for a vampire, I think.” He punched David lightly in the side. “Lucky for you, I’m certified in darkness exploration, and I’m happy to lead us back.”

Matteo tugged on David’s sweater, pulling him forward in precisely the wrong direction to get back to the campsite. 

“Ha ha, so funny.” David teased, deadpan. “But you might want to check up on your certification, Mr. Florenzi, since to my eyes the lights from the campsite are in the other direction?”

“Eyes?” Matteo laughed, dragging David forward. “There’s your problem, relying on those - in darkness training we learn to trust our other senses - and I’m  _ sensing _ that we need to go this way!”

Matteo pulled harder, trying to drag David down the path, and David retaliated, grabbing Matteo by the side and tickling him mercilessly. Matteo doubled over laughing, still trying to grab David and pull him down the path, until David tripped on a tree root. 

They both tumbled over slightly, rolling off the path to the edge of the lake with a resounding  _ squish. _

“Ughhhh!!” Matteo groaned as he landed on his side in a huge slick of soft, wet mud, which tangled in his hair and dripped down his face. David fared slightly better, only up to his knees in the muck rather than fully toppled over.

“Here, here - wait, hold on.” David grabbed Matteo’s muddy hands and carefully helped him up. Matteo seemed to mostly be in good spirits as he squelched back to the path, trying to reach out and swipe David with his muddy hands. David grabbed his hands, held them away from his face, and kissed Matteo hard, glad that his lips were not also covered in mud.

“You, Matteo, are a  _ menace _ .” David laughed, grabbing Matteo’s muddy hand and starting to pull him down the path in the right direction. Matteo kissed his cheek, then wiped a streak of mud on it, and started to follow him back.

By the time they reached the campsite it was pitch black and almost 8pm, dinner long over. 

Matteo was still covered in mud, and was itching everywhere, covered in bug bites. They were almost back to the tent area when they were stopped in their tracks by the head teacher. “What happened to you two? I was about to send out a search party!”

David gave him a sort of sheepish grin and Matteo shrugged his muddy shoulders, laughing. 

“Nevermind, I’m sure I don’t want to know. Well, follow me, anyway.”

The teacher started walking towards a large while building, and David tugged Matteo behind him - were they going to be disciplined? Sent home early or something?

They reached the side door, clearly marked  Locker Room Entrances , and David’s heart clenched. 

Their teacher gestured towards the door, and David looked at him with what he hoped read as confusion rather than panic. 

“Go on, use the showers before you go back to the campsite, that can’t be comfortable. David, I trust you can help Matteo? Since you got him into this mess?”

David stammered out a yes, and pulled Matteo through the locker room doors. David could see a long line of lockers, and a room to the side with bins of towels and a row of showerheads. Funny how a room so silent and well lit instantly reminded him of his most vivid nightmares. He tried to keep his breathing steady - they were alone, totally alone, and Matteo could not  _ see _ him. 

Matteo turned towards him, blushing softly. He looked nervous, and embarrassed, and David’s heart broke just a little. 

“I’m sorry, about getting us covered in mud, and...needing your help. It would be nice to get this shit off me, though, and stop itching?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s ok - here.” David went into task mode, his brain on autopilot. He guided Matteo into the shower room, and took him over to the bench. He watched as Matteo stripped down to his boxers - fuck, he was so beautiful like this, ghostly pale back streaked with mud, his neck and cheeks flushed red as he blushed. David allowed himself just a second to stare, to take it all in. Matteo turned towards him, pulling him in for a soft kiss that David did his best to reciprocate despite the panic rising in his chest. 

“We’re all alone in here, right?” Matteo asked. He reached out his hand and stroked down David’s side, his voice teasing as he tugged a little at David’s sweater. “This is unfair - you can see me, I want to feel you too. We don’t have to, you know...I just thought we might...” Matteo trailed off, and David felt such an overwhelming burst of affection for this boy, who was clearly nervous and trying not to overstep David’s boundaries. 

Not that it mattered. Matteo had no idea who he was talking to, really. David sucked in a breath, pulling his body away from Matteo, trying to keep his hands from shaking. He tried to sound casual. He knew he did not. “Let’s worry about you first! Here, the shower is right here, hold on, let me turn it on, ok great! Soap is here in the caddy, towel is hanging next to you here.”

Matteo’s face looked crestfallen, confused. “Um…ok, thanks.” He stepped under the water.

David backed away instantly, almost slipping on the tiles. He had to get the hell out of here.

“David?” Matteo called out, stepping out of the water. “Where are you going?” 

David stammered out, “Just to uh, hang up my clothes! I’ll be right back, don’t worry.”

David bolted out of the locker room, breathing hard. He fumbled for his phone, frantically texting Jonas to come meet Matteo in the locker room attached to the pool complex, that Matteo needed his help. David was shivering in the cold night air, and he could feel the tears sliding down his face as he waited outside the locker room door, hidden from sight in the tall bushes. 

He wished he wasn’t so terrified. He wished that he could peel off his skin and build himself correctly, the way he was supposed to be. Mostly, though, he wished he could walk back into the room, strip off his clothes, and that Matteo would want the body that was under them.

Instead, he waited silently until he saw Jonas, who jogged up to the locker room door and pushed it open, calling out Matteo’s name. And then he ran. 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Matteo’s phone buzzed again, pulling him out of a fitful sleep. He groaned and grabbed it, clicking the button so it would tell him the time. ‘18:57,’ it chirped. He sighed and dropped it into the covers. Well that explained why he was starving, it was nearly dinnertime and he hadn't eaten anything all day, had barely eaten in the last few days. 

But he was finally feeling like getting up. 

It had been five days since ‘The Incident’, as Matteo had been calling it in his mind. Since David had kissed him for hours by the lake and then ran away, leaving him dripping wet and confused and standing alone in the locker room. Well, not really alone - when Jonas burst in and found him, flustered and trying to scrub the mud off his body, he said David had texted him that Matteo needed his help. 

So David had wanted him to be safe, he supposed, but had wanted to run, had seen Matteo almost naked and vulnerable in front of him and had run in the other direction. Had he pushed too much? Had it dawned on David how useless he was without help? _Fuck._ Matteo rubbed at his eyes and told himself, again, that it was going to be ok, focusing on the breathing techniques he had learned to use when he was younger and felt like he was swimming in panic. 

It had just been the biggest shift of emotions in Matteo’s life. Kissing the boy he had liked for months, who had kissed him _back_ . Matteo had opened himself up to David, had sat between his legs and held him, had whispered David’s name while pressed back against the rough bark of a tree, slick with mud. One second, David whispering in his ear that _he liked him too, so much that it scared him_. And then the next second being alone, being helped back to the bench by his blindsided best friend, who hugged Matteo close and wrapped him in a warm towel as he shut down, trying to hold back tears. 

After they had looked for David for a while, after Matteo’s calls and texts had gone unanswered, and Jonas finally asked what the hell was going on, Matteo broke down and came out to him, told him that David had kissed him and then run away. Jonas seemed barely phased by the gay thing, but Matteo could sense how angry he was at David. 

Jonas brought him clean clothes, and they walked out to the edge of the lake together. Hanna joined them, sitting quietly and wrapping Matteo in her arms while Jonas sang and played his guitar. Matteo told her too, bits and pieces, and she listened and stroked his hair. Matteo felt overwhelmed - awash in confusion and worry but also hit by a wave of deep affection for his friends. 

By the end of the night Matteo was exhausted, stumbling as they headed back to the campsite to their tents. His head hit the pillow and he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning as he sat on the bus home, he could hear Hanna and Amira whispering a few rows ahead of him. “Have you seen David yet, today?” Hanna asked. Matteo smiled a little at that - Hanna was always looking out for him, in her own way.

“No, and the bus is about to leave, where could he be?” Amira replied. “Oh wait...look, he just came in - why’s he sitting in the front row alone with his headphones on?”

Just then, the bus roared to life, and Matteo lost the thread of their whispers. He slept the whole way back, and Hanna told him that David slipped away as soon as they got back to school. Matteo spent the rest of Sunday distracted, barely finishing anything he tried to start.

On Monday morning Matteo woke up with a bad cold, head groggy and full, so he figured it was a sign that he could skip school. He spent the next few days in a haze - half sick, half low swing of depression. But now it was officially Thursday night, and he was feeling better, mostly, so he knew tomorrow he would have to face the music - face David. He had decided it was time to come out to the rest of his friends, to be honest with them about himself, and if David changed his mind and wanted to be a part of it, then so be it.

At first, he had wanted to feel angry at David, wanted to scream at him for playing with him like that, for running away. But that feeling was swiftly replaced by just wanting to talk to him, just wanting to ask him _why_.

After a few days holed up in the flat he had opened up to Hans, a little. Hans had cautioned him to give David time, that he might be afraid of how he was feeling. While Matteo knew that made sense, he could not shake the feeling that it was more than that. Or that David was fine with being gay and it was _Matteo_ that was the problem. 

Matteo pushed those thoughts away. He busied himself with making pasta, reheating a container of pre-made sauce from the freezer, laughing a little at the memory of making it a few weeks back with the boys - Jonas chopping, Matteo at the stove, Abdi and Carlos drinking beer and occasionally ‘helping measure’. As he reminisced, the kitchen filled with the warm smell of tomatoes and garlic. 

Matteo turned on a podcast while he ate, losing himself in the narrative, when suddenly the door buzzer rang sharply. Matteo made his way to the intercom, confused, and when he pressed the button he heard a soft voice ask “Hi, is Matteo home? It’s David.”

Matteo paused for a second, trying not to panic. This was good, right? David must have worried about him this week, he must be missing him, he must want to talk? Or maybe he had just heard that Matteo would be back at school tomorrow and wanted to dump him before they had to face each other with their friends. 

Or maybe Matteo should just buzz him up and find out for himself. 

Matteo cleared his throat, and softly replied. “Yeah, it’s me. Let me buzz you in.”

David’s footsteps up to the apartment were slow, measured, as Matteo waited in the doorway. David stopped a few steps from the door. They both stood still, Matteo holding his breath and trying not to panic. Until suddenly David was there, was holding his hands, was wrapping him in a soft hug. Matteo was too confused to speak, so he just let himself be held and soaked in David’s scent. 

“I’m so sorry, Matteo,” David said, after a few minutes, still holding him. “I never should have left you like that - I just -” Matteo could hear the stress in David’s voice, could hear the struggle between wanting to stay or run away.

“It’s ok,” Matteo said softly. “But...can you just tell me why? Talk to me?”

David sighed, and pulled back. “Yeah, I came to - I want to.” He paused. “Sorry, can we go to your room, please? To be alone?”

Matteo nodded and took David’s hand, leading them to his room. They sat on the bed, close but deliberately not touching. Matteo waited quietly, trying to give David time to find his voice. 

“So, I wrote something I wanted you to read…” David laughed slightly at himself. “I wanted to send it to you all week. But then I realized the last person I wanted to tell you was that terrible computer voice that reads all your texts for you.”

“What!” Matteo laughed slightly at this, despite the tension in the room. “How dare you insult Dagmar! She’s a classy lady, David.”

Sometimes, Matteo thought that he could almost feel the smile spreading on David’s face by the sound of his voice. “I know, you’ve mentioned that before. But…anyway. I wanted to explain why I left you, I wanted you to know it had nothing to do with you...Matteo, I like you so much and the last thing I want is to…” David stopped, and took a deep breath. 

“Before, in the locker room, you were so sweet, and I didn’t know how to tell you...that my body’s not going to be what you were expecting. I need you to know that I’m transgender.” 

David paused, letting out a huge breath. “Do you know what that…”

Matteo interrupted him. “Yeah, I know what that means.” A million thoughts were running through his head - gratitude to his therapist for the resources she had forced on him after he came out to her, the queer disabilities youth group he had dropped by once, in secret, too afraid to fully come out to himself yet. Thoughts about what this meant for him - if he’s gay, and David is trans, what does that make him? 

But then, another thought - does it really matter?

Matteo realized he had no idea how long he had been sitting there without speaking. He could feel David shift on the bed, like he was about to get up. “Maybe I should…”

“No, stay, please.” Matteo reached out, searching for David’s arm. “I want you to stay. I’m just afraid of saying something completly stupid. The last thing I want is to hurt you, or to make you feel -” 

David quickly interrupted him. “Matteo - Do you remember the first time we hung out, just us, and the first thing I asked was if you wanted to go _see a movie_? I don't think anything could be worse than that.”

“But that was the most perfect thing you could have asked me, somehow, and it ended up being so...When I’m with you, it’s like...I feel understood.” Matteo smiled, and hoped David knew what he meant. 

David shifted slightly closer. “Ok, so do you - is there anything you want to ask me?” 

Matteo shifted slightly. “Ok, so I know when I hear you, when I…when I touch you it’s...” Matteo trailed off, unsure of how to ask. He ran his hand along the stubble on his own jaw, and smoothed his other hand down his own chest, hoping David would understand. 

“Yeah, ok.” David breathed out, and Matteo knew he understood. David shifted closer, and took Matteo’s hands. He ran one along his face, and Matteo could feel the soft hair on the edge of his jawline. He placed Matteo’s other hand on his waist, and slipped it just under his sweater, running it along the edge of something he was wearing under it.

“I’m a boy,” David breathed out, letting Matteo’s hand settle on the center of his chest. “I just have to try a little harder. I take testosterone, that helps with my voice, my face, and I wear this, it’s called a binder, to help…” Then he trailed off again. Matteo, despite their proximity, could feel David shutting off, pulling away again. Matteo pulled him back, so their faces were almost touching.

“David , I...I like you so much, like to a degree that is embarrassing, and I don’t...I know I could only feel that way about a boy. I’m the last person who would judge you because your body isn’t how you need it to be, I mean…” He gestured vaguely towards his eyes. 

“Yeah.” David breathed out, nudging Matteo’s forehead with his own. Matteo kissed him once, their lips barely brushing, and ran his hands across David’s face, down his chest and sides, and pulled him closer to whisper in his ear. 

“All I’ve wanted for weeks is to be with you. And that’s still all I want.” 

“Me too.” David kissed him and pulled him close. “I’m in if you are.”

They collapsed back into the bed, talking late into the night, sharing soft kisses until Matteo drifted off to sleep. 

…

Matteo woke up slowly, his limbs like syrup. David’s phone alarm was going off, and David was in his arms, groaning and twisting and fumbling for his phone.

“Fuck, sorry, I forgot to turn that off.” 

Matteo responded by tugging him closer, searching for his hair to pull hard and drag him forward for a kiss. David responded by yawning into Matteo’s mouth, and they both dissolved into laughter. 

“Is it morning?” Matteo asked, too comfortable to grab his phone from the nightstand. 

“Yes, and that was my alarm for school, so -” David moved slightly like he was about to get up. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Matteo yelped, grabbing David forcefully. “I’ve been out sick all week, I think it’s only right to make it a clean sweep.”

“Matteo, that's all the more reason, and I’ve got a -”

“An all-day date with your amazing new boyfriend? Great, that’s what I’ve got going on as well.“ Matteo laughed and pounced on top of David until he was wrapped around him. 

David leaned up from the bed and kissed Matteo hard - but then tickled him in the sides even harder, until he flipped Matteo over easily and pinned him down. He kissed him, light and quick, and flopped over, pulling Matteo close. 

“Ok, you win...boyfriend.”

Matteo smiled, and kissed him again.

They ended up staying in bed for hours, ordering lunch in, talking and kissing and avoiding the rest of the world. They lit a joint, and smoked it slowly, sharing searing kisses that burned Matteo’s lips. Matteo ignored the prying texts from Jonas asking ‘how curious it was that they were both missing school today’, and David laughed and agreed that they should update him soon. 

“I want him to know, I want to tell all of our friends - not about me, yet. But about us.” 

Matteo smiled and burrowed deeper into David’s arms. “Me too - I mean, if you’re sure that’s what you want? I could have been kidding about the boyfriend thing before, if you prefer.” 

David squeezed him tighter. “I want it so much. I’m honestly surprised no one confronted me about it sooner, there's no way I was fooling anyone, I could not keep my eyes off you from the second I walked into German class on the first day.” David kissed him on the forehead. “I kept thinking of this quote: _When you separate an entwined particle and you move both parts away from the other, even at opposite ends of the universe, if you alter or affect one, the other will be identically altered or affected_.” 

“That’s from the movie we saw, right?” Matteo asked. 

“Right.” David replied, brushing his fingers through Matteo’s hair. “That’s how I felt when I saw you, when I kept trying to keep myself from falling for you - I’ve always hated the idea of fate, the idea of _needing_ anyone but myself, but something kept drawing me back to you. ”

“I sort of know what you mean, but, different, in a way.” Matteo paused for a second, trying to think of the best way to say it. David waited for him, giving him time to process his words. “After I was diagnosed, when I stopped being able to do things myself - I lashed out, I closed myself off, I told myself I didn’t need anyone to help me, to support me, and I wanted so badly for it to be true. And now, I’m better in a lot of ways - I’m happy when my friends care about me, help me, when they walk me home or come cook with me, but with you…” Matteo trailed off. 

He felt as he often did around David - like he had slit himself open and everything was spilling out. He pulled away from David’s arms, sprawling out in the middle of the bed on his back. 

“I couldn’t stand the thought of being a burden, of someone being… being stuck with me. Even if the thing I want the most is for someone to _want_ that. There’s so much I might struggle to do, I’ll always have days where getting out of bed seems impossible, I just… I spent the last few days thinking that you were regretting everything, that you thought about it and being with me was too much.” 

“Matteo.” David gently touched his face, stroking his cheek slowly. “I don’t think I could ever feel that way - I see how much you try, even when it’s hard, I see how you pulled yourself up from such a dark place in the past, I see how much love you have for everyone around you, how much they clearly care about you - No one could see that that and not want you.” He pulled Matteo back into his arms, and Matteo went willingly. “I was just scared to tell you about me, that I wouldn't be what _you_ wanted.”

Matteo sighed and laughed, just a little. “Ok, well I know that _now_. Tell that to me from three days ago!” He pinched David in the side, giggling. David tickled him back, and they soon dissolved into laughter, followed by slow, heated kisses. Matteo had never felt like this before - that without words he could tell instantly that David knew Matteo was teasing, not judging, and that Matteo was so proud of David for opening up to him despite his fears. 

Before long, Matteo’s stomach was growling again, and David told him it was getting dark outside. They decided to cook dinner together, David remarking that with his eyes and Matteo’s base of culinary knowledge they would be an unstoppable team. It took a bit of maneuvering, but they quickly figured out a rhythm that worked for them, and then they feasted on their haphazard dinner at the little corner table, legs brushing against each other as they ate.

They were finishing up when Matteo heard a squeal of delight from across the room. Matteo blushed instantly, guessing that Hans came in and noticed that their ankles were intertwined. 

“My dear - is there someone you need to introduce me to?” Hans walked over, nudging Matteo on the shoulder. 

Matteo sighed dramatically, and Hans pinched his cheek. “Fine, I’ll do it myself. Hello, David I presume? I’m Hans, Matteo’s flatmate and occasional life coach.” 

David laughed. “I see my reputation precedes me.” 

“I’m guessing you two worked out your misunderstanding, then?” Hans asked. “I’m running out, so I’ll make Matteo fill me in later. David, very nice to have made your acquaintance.”

Hans pinched Matteo again, and started walking out of the kitchen, but not before adding, “Oh, and gentlemen? I’m gone for the night, and Mia and Linn are as well. I’m assuming you’re being safe, but if you need them, there’s a box of condoms on the bathroom counter. Ta ta, darlings!”

Matteo heard the front door open as Hans walked out, and he groaned and shoved his face in his hands. “Sorry about that.” 

David cleared the table, putting the dishes in the sink, and then grabbed Matteo’s hands and pulled him out of the chair, pressing him back against the counter. “Well, it is good to know that.” He laughed low in his throat, and nuzzled into the curve of Matteo’s neck, licking a wet stripe up the side. “Bleh!” he exclaimed, making an exaggerated coughing sound. “Between sleeping in our clothes from yesterday and smoking and cooking we do _not_ smell great.”

Matteo grabbed David’s hair and took an exaggerated whif. “Yeah, I don’t know how I’m still standing, what with my heightened sense of smell and all.” 

David laughed and pushed him back into the counter. “You’re such an asshole! I was about to make a romantic suggestion, here.” 

“Nooooo, ok ok!” Matteo groaned, grabbing David again and kissing his forehead. “Come back, I’m sorry, I’m very romantic.” 

David kissed him and pulled him close, lips pressed against Matteo’s cheek. He was quiet for a second, before whispering in Matteo’s ear. “Would you want to...take a shower with me? Since the last time it went so poorly.”

Matteo was a little thrown by this, despite the fact that he desperately wanted it. They had been in bed for hours that afternoon, and while Matteo had done his best to keep his body in check, they way it responded to David’s touch was getting harder and harder to mask. “Are you sure?” he whispered back. “The last thing I want is for you to feel like you need to for me...or feel uncomfortable.”

David shook his head, moving Matteo with him. “No - I want to. I know I’m safe with you, and I want you.” David started to gently pull them down the hallway, until they were standing together in the bathroom, foreheads pressed together. Matteo kissed him deeply, pressing their bodies close. 

They kissed for a few minutes, just standing in the bathroom. Matteo felt like he was frozen in place. But then David slowly unzipped Matteo’s sweatshirt, pulling it off, and Matteo instantly relaxed. David wanted this, wanted him, and they had all the time in the world.

They undressed each other slowly. Matteo took a few minutes to run his hands along Davd’s chest with his binder on, up from his waist and then down from his shoulders, memorizing every angle and curve. He leaned down and pressed kisses to the curve of David’s neck, to the hard angle of his collarbone, to the rough fabric of his binder. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked softly. “I can go, you can get clean and put this back on and come to bed, or put on a shirt, or...whatever you need.” 

“No, it's ok, just -” David stepped slightly back, and Matteo could hear him breathing deeply. “I want to be able to feel your skin, I want to be able to _breathe_. I want to.”

Matteo could hear fabric rustling, and David stood still for a few seconds, breathing in and out slowly. Then David walked back over and everything dissolved as he wrapped Matteo in his arms. 

After that, it was easy. David laughed as Matteo fell over and kicked off his boxers, Matteo teased David for the scalding hot temperature of the shower water, and as he stepped into the shower the awkward jumble of feelings in Matteo’s head melted away. He melted into David’s skin, to the dimples at the base of his back, to the rough trail of hair on his belly, to the soft, soft skin of his thighs. He never imagined that it would feel like this, that he could just feel good and desired and aching to be touched without any trace of anger at what he had lost. It all washed away as David held him. 

He checked in verbally with each movement of his hands, and David showed him what was ok, what felt good, what spot made him suck in a quick breath or made him let out a low moan. Soon, they were panting into each other’s mouths, and Matteo was not sure he could wait any longer.

“Bedroom?”

“Bedroom.”

They barely dried off, kissing their way from the bathroom until they fell through the doorway of Matteo’s room and into bed. David pushed Matteo down into the covers, straddling his hips and settling the lines of their bodies together. David pressed kisses down Matteo’s chest and across his soft stomach. His fingers trailed up Matteo’s legs and across his thighs until he was stroking Matteo gently, up and down. Matteo gasped, grabbing for David’s face, and pulled him down for a kiss, panting into his mouth.

David breathed out, and stopped for a second. “I’m not sure if you want - we can do whatever feels good.” he whispered. “But I think I would like it, if you fucked me.”

“ _Fuck._ ” Matteo breathed out, without thinking. David laughed, burying his head in the curve of Matteo’s neck. “Yeah, that's what I said.”

Matteo growled, grabbing David around the waist and flipping them over. “Fuck you!”

“Yes, _exactly_.” 

Matteo bent down, searching for David’s lips, and kissed him. “Yes.” 

Matteo settled in between David’s thighs, stroking his hands down David’s hips. David took Matteo’s hand and led it in between his legs. Matteo stroked him gently, feeling the slick warmth around his fingers, smiling at every soft moan he pulled from David’s lips. David talked to him, coaching him slow and gentle, and Matteo pressed inside, curling his fingers up with a motion that made David clench around him. 

Matteo pressed against David’s thigh, trying to stay composed until David grabbed Matteo’s sides, pulling him forward so he could roll on a condom. Matteo sank into David, trying to be careful, trying to be slow. _Keep it together._ David groaned, wrapping his legs around Matteo’s waist and scraping his nails down his back. David clenched around him, hard, and flipped them over in a single motion, straddling his hips and grinding down slowly, pressing Matteo’s hands back into the bed. 

Matteo was in full sensory overload, trying to take it all in - David’s scent on his fingers, the sound of his low panting, the taste of salt on his skin, the touch of his hands on every part of Matteo’s body. Matteo leaned up, searching for David’s lips. 

“Fuck, _David._ This is...so good, you are perfect.” Matteo could feel David’s smile against his cheek. 

David kissed him again, wet and messy, and they pulsed together until David was thrusting forward, bearing down on Matteo’s hips as his whole body shuddered. Matteo felt it in every inch of his body, and he came with a whine, biting David’s lip. David pulled him in tight, wrapping his arms around Matteo as they both came down. 

They pulled apart, slowly, and collapsed down on the bed, face to face. Matteo ran his hands along every inch of David’s face - the sweep of his eyelashes, the bow of his lips, the edge of his jaw. David kissed him, again and again, and pulled Matteo into the curve of his shoulder. 

They laid there, twined together like a complicated knot, until Matteo thought David might be asleep. “David?” 

“Yeah?” David asked, his voice rough with sleep. 

“I love you,” Matteo whispered. “I’ve been thinking it all day, and I just wanted you to know it before you fell asleep.”

David squeezed Matteo in his arms, and kissed him soft and slow. “I love you, too.”

...

David left early the next morning with a kiss to Matteo’s forehead. “I think Laura’s going to send out a search party for me if I don't come home for a bit.” 

Matteo rolled over, trying to keep David from leaving the bed, his limbs heavy with sleep. David laughed and pulled himself away, tucking Matteo back in. “Go back to bed - I’ll see you later? I’m assuming you also got the group chat from Hanna inviting everyone over to her place tonight?” 

Matteo groaned, hiding under the blanket. He was mostly feeling better, but parties were still really draining, even on his best days. David uncovered him and pushed the hair back from his face. “I know, but it’s just going to be the group, not a big party, and I think your boyfriend would really miss you if you stayed home.”

Matteo laughed and found David’s hand, kissing his palm. “I guess I wouldn't want to disappoint him then. Have you _seen_ that guy? He’s amazing.” 

David poked his side and kissed him again on the forehead before getting off the bed. “Text me, ok? I’ll pick you up and we can make a _grand entrance_ at the party later.”

Matteo groaned again, giving him the finger, and David left the room laughing. 

...

Hours later, Matteo was standing in the middle of his room, wearing only his boxers and panicking. He walked over to his door and poked his head out. “Hans! Help!”

After several outfit changes, and a reminder from Hans to actually _do_ his laundry this weekend rather than just depositing it in the basket, Matteo felt _good_. His jeans were more fitted than normal, but still comfortable, and his button down was soft and silky, a gift from Hanna last Christmas. 

He was slipping on his shoes when he heard the buzzer, and soon David was in his arms. Matteo shoved his face into David’s neck, inhaling the warm, spicy scent of him. “Missed you,” he mumbled, only slightly embarrassed about it.

“I missed you too,” David said, stroking his face. 

As they got off the bus and walked down Hanna’s street, Matteo felt like he should be more nervous, somehow. This was a coming out and announcing he had a boyfriend all rolled into one, and normally the prospect of that much attention on him was daunting. But David squeezed his hand before they walked in, and he felt like it was no big thing at all, really.

Matteo knew they were running late, having spent the better part of twenty minutes pressed up against the brick wall in the alley next to Matteo’s building - after David had pulled him aside and shown him exactly how Matteo’s look for this evening was making him feel. Everyone else had clearly arrived, and Matteo could hear the familiar mixture of voices carrying through the open front windows. 

“Looks like we are actually making a grand entrance, then,” David remarked as they walked up to the front door. He stopped them for a second, and smoothed his hands though Matteo’s hair, taming it and running his hand down Matteo’s cheek. “Are you ok with that?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing.” Matteo smiled. “If you’re in, I’m in.” 

David kissed him, and then took his hand. David let himself in the front door with the code Hanna had sent, and let them through the hallway to the living room. Matteo instantly heard the chatter die down as they walked into the room, and Matteo knew that everyone had clearly noticed that he was holding David’s hand. 

In the past, this would have been too much to handle. But now? Jonas had been sending encouraging texts all day, reminding him how much they all cared about him. Hanna had sent him a long voicemail, teasing him gently about not missing the party and sending her love to both of them. And most of all - he was there with _David._

So he went with his first instinct. He threw both his hands in the air - one, holding David’s, the other giving the middle finger, and then he dropped them both and pulled David into a kiss. He could hear his friends laughing and yelping in the background, and the last of his tension melted away.

David and Matteo joined everyone on the couch, grabbing some beers from the center table. Matteo snuggled a bit into David’s side as he sipped his beer, and David whispered that he could see Abdi passing Carlos 20 euros, complaining about him being a sore winner. “Man, did you seriously bet on us?” Matteo called out. 

“The vibes, dude! I knew there was something going on during those walks home.” Carlos defended himself. David took Matteo’s hand and face palmed himself with it, laughing along with Jonas and the girls. 

Mia and Hanna hugged him close, messing up his hair and teasing him about his obvious crush on David. “Matteo, every time he sat down behind you in class your cheeks would go all red and you would get this little smile, I wanted to scream it was so cute,” Hanna added, laughing. 

Matteo groaned and buried himself further into David’s side, embarrassed, but David kissed him and said, “I thought I noticed it too, and it drove me so crazy - I had convinced myself I was imagining it.” 

Sam and Kiki, meanwhile, teased David about his equally obvious affection for Matteo on their walks home. Amira chimed in and said they were both totally clueless, and she was shocked they got their act together before graduation. 

After an hour or so, somebody turned up the music, and chairs and tables were pushed aside. Normally, this was Matteo’s cue to take up a perch on the sidelines. But David had other ideas. He grabbed Matteo and dragged him to the center of the room, much to the amusement of their friends. 

“I can’t dance!” Matteo squealed as David pulled him forward, twining his hands around Matteo’s waist. 

“Well, I can! And so can you! There are good dancers, and bad dancers, but everybody knows how to dance.” David started moving them together, and Matteo leaned into him, letting David move their bodies to the music. 

“Oh? And you’re one of the good ones, I suppose?”

“The best!” David laughed. “Matteo, you can move your feet too, you know.”

“David, I must look ridiculous.” Matteo mumbled, hiding his face in the curve of David’s neck. 

“You look perfect.” 

David grabbed his hands and spun him around, and he twirled awkwardly and fell back into David’s arms, laughing. Matteo leaned his head against David’s, swaying in time with the beat. “Ok - you win.” 

David kissed him, and whispered in his ear, “Don’t worry - I already knew that.” 

After the party, David insisted that they walk the whole way home, teasing Matteo that it was practically tradition at this point, after so many walks home from school. 

“So this is who I've landed for myself? What a sap!” Matteo teased as they walked out of the party. 

“Congratulations!” David shot back, laughing as he pulled them along. 

Despite the late hour, they meandered through the city slowly, until they finally arrived at Matteo’s front door. 

But unlike every time before, David didn’t say goodnight and leave: instead, he kissed Matteo on the doorstep, long and slow, and they walked inside together, hand in hand.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Druck Season 3 hit me like a sack of bricks, here's my little addition to the amazing collection of works posted! This entire work is already written, just finishing up some edits on the final chapters. 
> 
> A million thanks to my beta readers and cheerleaders, [@brawlite](https://brawlite.tumblr.com/) and [@littlesystems](https://littlesystems.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Come find me on tumblr at [@myriophyllous](https://myriophyllous.tumblr.com/) if you like!


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